Blue_Mike
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Post by Blue_Mike on Feb 24, 2023 0:24:17 GMT
A discussion in the pub tonight has led to this being a question I ask of you. Are you intact, or did it get broken on the job, or involved in some kind of accident?
For the record I am intact, but one of my mates has just told us the story of how he felt a sharp pain while going about his business, and looked down to see the condom filling up with blood.
Sharp intakes of breath in sympathy at the ready.
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KD
Junior Member
RIP EG
Posts: 1,330
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Post by KD on Feb 24, 2023 1:31:53 GMT
I had a comfort issue so a doctor snapped my banjo string, only about 4 years ago.
I have a friend who snapped his on the job.
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Blue_Mike
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Post by Blue_Mike on Feb 24, 2023 1:40:32 GMT
I am basically the last of my friends not to have a horrific, blood soaked anecdote, I have an enthusiastic missus, and mines' been giving me some twinges of pain lately for the first time in my 38 years, so I feel like I'm living on borrowed time.
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Post by Nanocrystal on Feb 24, 2023 2:49:51 GMT
Jesus christ. Lube is your friend, people.
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Post by 😎 on Feb 24, 2023 2:56:25 GMT
It’s a mystery why our user base doesn’t grow much.
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Blue_Mike
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Post by Blue_Mike on Feb 24, 2023 3:04:36 GMT
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Post by Fake_Blood on Feb 24, 2023 6:23:44 GMT
The girl I was with said it happened to her next guy too, so I blame her. Didn’t know it was a thing so went to see my GP, he said it would heal on it’s own, do you want me to take a look at it, and we both decided to leave it at that.
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cubby
Full Member
doesn't get subtext
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Post by cubby on Feb 24, 2023 6:41:05 GMT
I'm getting vague memories of banjo strings and ironing.
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mrpon
Junior Member
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Post by mrpon on Feb 24, 2023 6:42:34 GMT
I had a comfort issue so a doctor snapped my banjo string, only about 4 years ago. I have a friend who snapped his on the job. KD Twang |
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Post by Bill in the rain on Feb 24, 2023 7:26:05 GMT
I came in expecting a banjo cover of a really sad song.
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Post by elstoof on Feb 24, 2023 7:40:03 GMT
The girl I was with said it happened to her next guy too, so I blame her. How many guys did she have that day |
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Post by dfunked on Feb 24, 2023 8:07:13 GMT
Snapped in the middle of sexy time for me years ago (condom on thankfully!)
It's so much better without it imo. It's like the perfect middle ground between circumcision when it comes to hygiene, as you can can pull it back totally while showering.
Fucking awful when it happens though, and sore for a few weeks after too.
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EMarkM
Junior Member
Well, quite...
Posts: 2,150 
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Post by EMarkM on Feb 24, 2023 8:21:57 GMT
Hilarious that I:
A. Play the banjo and genuinely thought this was a music thread
B. Saw this thread immediately after seeing the Marvel Snap – Who’s Playing one!
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Post by elstoof on Feb 24, 2023 8:36:21 GMT
It's like the perfect middle ground between circumcision when it comes to hygiene, as you can can pull it back totally while showering. Can’t believe this needs to be said on forum full of middle aged men, but if you’re unable to fully retract your foreskin you need to take your Smegma encrusted glans to a doctor stat |
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Post by 😎 on Feb 24, 2023 8:39:08 GMT
There was a thing on that a while ago where a bunch of people on Twitter and Reddit were going “TIL that you can pull your foreskin back all the way” and jesus christ the stench of those people came through the monitor
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Post by 😎 on Feb 24, 2023 8:41:45 GMT
Also if anyone is now suddenly going “oh wait, you can?” please make yourself known so I can nuke your account into the sun.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 24, 2023 8:43:31 GMT
Maybe they mean all the way to the base.
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Post by elstoof on Feb 24, 2023 8:47:45 GMT
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mrpon
Junior Member
Posts: 3,731
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Post by mrpon on Feb 24, 2023 8:51:58 GMT
I've suddenly gone off calamari.
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Post by elstoof on Feb 24, 2023 8:52:51 GMT
Until your frenulum breaks you’re still medically classed as a virgin, they don’t call it the male hymen for nothing
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Post by dfunked on Feb 24, 2023 8:57:34 GMT
Just to clarify, I still pulled back the helmet and cleaned it as best I could before the snappening. It's just so much easier now.
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Blue_Mike
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Post by Blue_Mike on Feb 24, 2023 8:59:15 GMT
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Post by Nanocrystal on Feb 24, 2023 9:10:56 GMT
So for those who've torn theirs, and I hesitate to ask this, but do you now have a little tag hanging off the end? Like a label on a plush toy?
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Post by Danno on Feb 24, 2023 9:44:02 GMT
Never change, FG
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Post by dfunked on Feb 24, 2023 9:46:04 GMT
Nanocrystal if you want dick pics you only have to ask And no, totally normal looking schlong with a more easily moveable helmet.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Feb 24, 2023 9:53:50 GMT
Just to clarify, I still pulled back the helmet and cleaned it as best I could before the snappening. It's just so much easier now. As best as you can doesn't sound like you tried very hard. The cheesy helmets have been lurking in the forum waiting for the right time to pounce. I go risky and use that mint and lime shower gel to clean. |
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Post by dfunked on Feb 24, 2023 9:59:07 GMT
It was just like the picture in the Wikipedia entry for smegma.
Which I thoroughly recommend never looking at...
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Feb 24, 2023 10:02:45 GMT
I honestly don't understand how anyone can not know it goes all the way back. The amount of wanking you get through in your early teens surely it would have happened naturally. Unless you're rocking some ridiculously baggy snood foreskin I can't see how it's possible.
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Post by rhaegyr on Feb 24, 2023 10:20:13 GMT
Was hoping for news of Banjo-Threeie
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Post by Fake_Blood on Feb 24, 2023 10:23:01 GMT
There was an impressive amount of blood involved, and as I was still living with my dad I had to tell him about the sheets that needed washing. Fun times.
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