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Post by MolarAmšµ on Dec 4, 2022 11:50:34 GMT
So a friend invited me to a horror festival today, and we saw a bunch of animated horror short films. One of them was an animated thing based on this:
Using the word "animated" loosely here. Because the whole premise was "what if we took these static pictures and just moved them around with no animation at all", like a shitty puppet show. The whole thing was also a rip-off of Texas Chainsaw Massacre, included gratuitous, exploitative rape scenes, etc etc.
In short, it was a complete fucking failure on a technical, artistic and moral level, with no redeeming features whatsoever aside from a short running time. It was almost refreshing in a way, because most mediocre movies are just a bit 'meh'; it's rare to find something that ignites the fires of hatred in me.
SO. Artistically or morally speaking (or both), what's the worst thing you've ever seen?
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Post by rawshark on Dec 4, 2022 12:05:04 GMT
Paging Uwe Bollā¦
Thereās so many levels to this. Obviously Uweās output has always been shit but thatās because he didnāt even try. For me, the biggest disaster on every conceivable metric is probably Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.
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Rich
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Post by Rich on Dec 4, 2022 12:14:36 GMT
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Thread over. |
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Vortex
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Post by Vortex on Dec 4, 2022 12:15:41 GMT
Millennium with Kris kristofferson.
As mentioned a short while ago in the film thread (i think).
A turgid 80's sci-fi time travel thing.
11% on rotten tomatoes according to Wikipedia. It was utterly shite and I still hate whichever film we wanted to see for being sold out & fully regret our decision to see whatever else started at a similar time.
Beat that! Two hours or so of my life wasted. Should have walked out, but being teenagers with limited cash we stayed in case it eventually got a bit less bad.
It didn't.
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Post by dfunked on Dec 4, 2022 12:20:15 GMT
The Notebook
Horrible schmaltzy rubbish. The only redeeming bit is the "I'm just a big old bawl bag" line, which lost me all brownie points when I had to leave the room due to laughing so much.
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Post by drhickman1983 on Dec 4, 2022 12:40:20 GMT
It'll have to be Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen for me too. There is barely a single redeeming thing about it.
I did accidentally rewatch 30 minutes a bit ago as it was on TV. The whole thing is edited so poorly, and every line of dialogue is delivered at pace, so it feels like one of those (shit) podcasts where they edit every natural pause out so it all runs together. So it's exhausting to listen to.
Visually it's the orange and teal colour balance turned up to the max, with high contrast so it's exhausting to look at.
The plot makes no real sense.
There are racist stereotypes and smattering of casual misogyny.
The action sequences are borderline unreadable, there's no sense of space.
Now, from Molar's description of the "animated" horror movie, that does sounds worse possibly. But I also imagine that was made very cheaply. Revenge of the Fallen cost 200 million dollars. Considering the budget it's remarkable how bad it is.
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Post by Trowel š“ó §ó ¢ó ·ó ¬ó ³ó æ on Dec 4, 2022 12:41:59 GMT
I used to say Hardware, but that's genuinely into so-bad-it's-brilliant territory.
I suffered through Sex And The City 2 for my wife, but it kept her quiet for a couple of hours so that's good.
Actual answer is Dark Crimes starring Jim Carrey.
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Post by Aunt Alison on Dec 4, 2022 12:55:32 GMT
The Librarian
In debt man's Indiana Jones
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Cosmopolitan
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Post by Cosmopolitan on Dec 4, 2022 12:56:06 GMT
Indiana Jones something Crystal Skull.
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Post by MolarAmšµ on Dec 4, 2022 13:04:17 GMT
Now, from Molar's description of the "animated" horror movie, that does sounds worse possibly. But I also imagine that was made very cheaply. Revenge of the Fallen cost 200 million dollars. Considering the budget it's remarkable how bad it is. I get this, but I don't think "low budget" is really much of an excuse. I've seen plenty of movies with a tight budget that use every dollar effectively. But this looked so shit that the money would have been better spent making nothing at all. Anyway, even aside from that it was rapey and gross. |
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Post by Jambowayoh on Dec 4, 2022 13:28:27 GMT
Transformers Revenge of The Fallen is a good shout for so many reasons, the unabashed racism, the ridiculous runtime, evey girl being a supermodel at University, the weird parents, the Transformer humping Megan Fox's leg, the camera essentially looking up Megan Fox's arse. It's all there. However I'd say Batman and Robin is probably just as worse. It's the first movie where I, as a child, became aware that films could be terrible.
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geefe
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Post by geefe on Dec 4, 2022 13:36:16 GMT
Just Married.
Ashton Kutcher and Brittany Murphy, 2003.
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Post by britesparc on Dec 4, 2022 16:49:14 GMT
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Thread over. That's not even the worst Transformers film. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 4, 2022 16:49:34 GMT
The Predator.
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Post by drhickman1983 on Dec 4, 2022 16:56:46 GMT
That's not even the worst Transformers film. It's the worst one I've seen at least. It was so bad I didn't watch the latter movies, if they get worse... wow. Actually I think I did see some of 3, as it came on TV at Christmas and I was a bit drunk and too tired to faff around channel hopping. I fell asleep at various points, and when I woke up it didn't make much sense, but there was nothing that I saw that was as offensively bad as 2. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 4, 2022 16:57:31 GMT
The paedo card one is the worst.
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Rich
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Post by Rich on Dec 4, 2022 17:07:32 GMT
That's not even the worst Transformers film. No other film features the line "directly beneath the enemy's scrotum". It is the worst. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 4, 2022 17:10:47 GMT
However I'd say Batman and Robin is probably just as worse. It's the first movie where I, as a child, became aware that films could be terrible. Iāve always maintained that Batman Forever is worse than Batman & Robin. Batman & Robin knew it was terrible and camp and just went for it. It was very tongue in cheek about itself. Batman Forever TRIED and still that was the result. |
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Zyrr
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Post by Zyrr on Dec 4, 2022 17:47:28 GMT
There are some very good (bad) shouts here, though I'd argue that the whole sorry Michael Bay Transformers saga is just one giant turgid pile of effluent with absolutely zero redeeming qualities. The Predator was also very, very shit.
However, I'm going to throw Terminator: Genisys into the ring. Back in 2015 I'd already decided that Avengers Age of Ultron would be the worst film I'd seen that year by a comfortable margin and nothing would beat it, but then along came Genisys, which was so many orders of magnitude worse it blew a hole in my scale for terrible films. Fuck knows how long it is, but it felt like a lifetime.
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Ulythium
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Post by Ulythium on Dec 4, 2022 17:55:13 GMT
Jaws: The Revenge.
The first movie is a masterpiece; Jaws 2 was a passable 'more of the same, but not nearly as good' rehash; the third one was pretty bad, although it at least tried to do something different with the whole Sea World aspect.
The fourth one, though? Jesus trampolining Christ, it was terrible.
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Post by baihu1983 on Dec 4, 2022 18:50:43 GMT
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Post by Aunt Alison on Dec 4, 2022 18:54:05 GMT
That voice. Fuck that shit
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Post by baihu1983 on Dec 4, 2022 18:57:19 GMT
Yeah I hated it at first but after a couple videos I don't really notice.
Must hurt to do as he sounds nothing like that in his earlier videos.
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Post by paulyboy81 on Dec 4, 2022 19:52:58 GMT
The Bogus Witch Project (2000)
The Pauly Shore spoof of The Blair Witch Project. Me and a mate rented this back in the day in a moment of weakness.
I don't have the vocabulary to adequately communicate how bad it is.
Everyone should absolutely watch it though.
The ordeal of sitting through it basically makes everything else more tolerable, even, dare I say it, Revenge of the Fallen, which I'd rather watch again 100 times over than this film even just once more.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 4, 2022 20:10:57 GMT
I donāt know what surprises me more. That Blair Witch was THAT old or that Paulie Shoreās career lasted that long.
In my mind, he did that one romantic comedy where he was dating farmer Carla Gugino, Encino Man, A Goofy Movie, then just bounced.
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Post by anthonyuk on Dec 4, 2022 20:11:16 GMT
The Happening
Hands down the worst movie I've ever seen. The opening and scene setting is actually great, then it never knows what it wants to be and everyone involved seems embarrassed to be there.
I don't mind some of Shayamalan's output, even lady in water I quite enjoyed as an odd quirky adult fairytail.
Mark Wahlberg running away from the wind/10
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malek86
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Post by malek86 on Dec 4, 2022 20:17:50 GMT
I've sat through Alone in the Dark, and yes, it's the worst movie I've ever watched. Believe the hype.
It's embarassingly bad, meaning that you feel embarassed for anyone involved in the movie, and also for yourself because for some reason you must have decided to watch it.
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Post by GigaChad Sigma. on Dec 4, 2022 20:28:52 GMT
Revenge of the fallen is Oscar worthy in comparison to Transformers The Last Knight.
It's barely a film. It's as though they had 8 separate fim scripts and shuffled the pages into one document and each actor got a different version.
It's Merlin and the knights of the round table! Wait now it's Hong Kong, now its space! Here's Wahlberg he's meeting Anthony Hopkins because reasons! Wait it's under the sea to find Merlins staff!
It's like watching a badly dubbed ninja robot vhs from the 90's but all the actors are on speed and you the viewer are on meth.
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Bongo Heracles
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Post by Bongo Heracles on Dec 4, 2022 20:44:14 GMT
Yeah, the last knight is appalling. The comedy bit where the British spinsters think Marky Mark is having it off upstairs is one of the least funny things Iāve ever seen.
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Lukus
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Post by Lukus on Dec 4, 2022 20:49:42 GMT
Probably unfair to call it the worst film I've seen, but I couldn't get through more than about thirty minutes of a The Gentleman. It was like someone had made a parody of a Guy Ritchie film. It was too much. I hated it.
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